The Beauty Behind 'Marriage Isn't for You'

With over 24 million views in the first couple of days and every major news-feed responding with some form of criticism, I think its worth pointing out the good of Seth Adam Smith's blog post "Marriage Isn't For You"

If you haven't yet heard of it, you can follow some of the fascinating debate here.
Seth's turn of phrase makes one wonder if he's saying that marriage isn't the right choice for you, when in fact he's talking about something totally different.

Tensions
What cord did this strike in so many people to send this thing viral? 
Perhaps there were a few women encouraging their would be fianc├ęs to take his advice and get on with the show. (Seth said that he was following the advice of his dad, which was given as he was deciding if he should get married or not.)

The beauty underneath this is much deeper. The sense that love is a selfless act. Can you imagine being loved without any condition? I think we all do. This is why romantics read the post and want to share it. Here is a man realizing and seeking to enter into true love! 
Of course, this is also why there is such a backlash - does something like such a pure love exist? All who have been hurt know its not so easy. 

What I've realized in my 17+ years of marriage is that one's love is often selfish and we must learn to love as Seth's dad encouraged him too. Though,  I'm sure that's not the only thing Seth's dad has to say on marriage.  It takes a lifetime to learn to love like this, so don't think you have it down pat in those early, easier years. 

The Hidden Beauty
The amazing thing is that as we seek to learn to love the other, we realize that we are changing into a better person. I'm not talking about becoming a doormat, but a truly empathetic listener, a caring person and able to put our agenda on hold. It also means being willing to be vulnerable and be loved in return. 
As Seth has already pointed out, it's not as clear cut as some might think he's being. It's not purely romantic.
We can tend to be idealistic romantics or pessimistic realists.

I try to be a realistic romantic.

The beautiful thing about marriage is how complex it is; a wonderful complexity that invites us to truly learn to love and to be loved in return. 
In the end, marriage is for you, maybe just not the way you thought it would be.